Take my hand mama...

Hi mama. If you're reading this blog,  then I know what led you here; no need for formal introductions or explanations. So firstly, let me say this; I am so relentlessly and truly sorry you've found yourself in this shitty, yet amazingly brave and supportive community. I've been an active member of the exclusive club that no one wants to be a part of, for over 5 years now, and there's so much to experience, embrace and learn about this painfully transformative, confusing, and sometimes beautiful journey, mama. But the most important thing to know right now is, at the very beginning of this dark and long road, I know that you're in so much pain that you fully believe that you're not going to survive this. That's ok, you should feel that way right now. Validate yourself for being exactly where you're supposed to be. I know you feel that the excruciating pain that sits heavy in your broken heart, makes it impossible to consider that this trauma and heartbreak won't actually kill you. That the breaking of your heart is so loud, how could the world around you not hear it? Feel it? You’re hanging on by a thread, yet strangers pass you by so blissfully unaware of all that is wrong with the world, living a life that resembles "normal", and it doesn’t make any sense. Nothing around you seems the same, especially being in you're own body. Surely there's no way to survive this? Let alone to consider a possibility that in time you won't spend your days hiding in the darkness, quiet and safety of your bed. That you won't cry an endless waterfall from the moment you wake up, until your tired body and soul can no longer take any more, and you finally drift into an non refreshing sleep. That you could ever live a life where you smile again, even laugh, and your eyes reflect a glimmer of the sparkle they once had. Surely none of this is possible?

I'm a loss mama too, slightly ahead of you in this journey, though by the true nature of grief, at times, I feel as though I'm right back at the start. 

I'm a loss mama too, trekking this grief path and riding these waves, navigating a new and ever changing life, and it can be so damn lonely to try and figure this out. We don't need to face this life by ourselves, and there is no-one to support a grieving mother, like a grieving mother. Let us love on you and your baby, and we'll be your lifejacket when you feel like you're drowning. 

So from one loss mama to another, take my hand, I've got you. 

Danielle